Unexploded Cow is a card game brought to you by the letter C, number 55, and Cheapass Games. This game comes in a small cardboard box and contains a rules insert and three small packs of the cards needed for this game. The company that made this game prides itself on giving the bare necessities for their games on the basis that board and card games have two things in common: they cost way too much, and they all, to some extent, are the same. Keeping this in mind, the company can get away with such light packaging.

Players: 3-6
Ages: 10+ (I recommend 12+)
Genre: Strategy
Playing Time: 20-60 minutes, depending on luck
Manufacturer: Cheapass Games

BUY

In order to play this game, you will also need enough money (paper or real, though I do not condone or suggest playing for realsies!) to give each player $2000 in denominations no smaller than $50. Monopoly and all of its alternate forms have money perfect for this, as do most little kids’ play cash registers. A d6 or standard 6-sided die is also needed.

The description from the Starlit Citadel website reads as follows: “In Unexploded Cow, you’re part of a mine clearing industry in France. Except to clear these mines and free the cities of France, you’re using some Mad Cows from England. They’ve got to be used for something right?” The theme and basis of this game is you are moving your herd of cows throughout France, hoping to take over the towns.

I do have to warn you that the rules are, at some points, poorly written and a little confusing. It’s best to talk these complicated parts through with whomever you’re playing with to see what the general consensus is about the reading of the rules. Essentially, there are three phases of a turn: draw, play, roll. You draw three cards at the start of the game, and two at the start of each turn. After you draw, you can play as many cards as you want. If you have four cows and an event card and want to play it all, you can! Each card, either a cow or an event, will have a price. You pay the price to the pot (explained below), and then put the card into play.

Cow cards are placed in front of you and this is your field. If you want to be really mean, you can put a cow in front of someone else (into their field) and make them pay the price of it. Granted you lose ownership of the cow, but you don’t have to pay for it. Event cards are played then discarded. The instructions for the events are written right on them, so it’s simple enough.

After you’ve played as many cards as you want, you take what’s called a “bomb roll.” To do this, you roll the d6 and, starting with the cow in the furthest right spot on your field, you count up until you get the number. You can only count each cow once so it there isn’t enough cows, then no bomb is found. If a bomb is found by a cow, that cow explodes and its owner (whomever has the cow in front of them) collects the amount of money on them. There are some specific special cows, but those are best to see for yourself. Let’s just say things can get really, really hectic, but a lot of fun!

One nice thing, though it can get complicated if you’re not careful, is the money system. This game has a “closed bank” system which means that there is no bank and all money paid will be won by another player. There is an ante at the beginning of the game that goes into a “bank” that doesn’t change amount, and then there is a “pot” where players pay money and get money from. So with a group of four people, there will be $200 tucked aside and the other $7800 will always be either with a player or in the pot.

I played this with a few friends, and we all agreed that it was a very fun game and worth buying. At first we were all a little confused, but after a few turns each and a couple games, we picked up on it. We were laughing hysterically, much to the distress of the two puppies that were jumping in and out of our laps, and had a blast. This is a great game for older kids because of the complexity and teenagers, but adults enjoy it, too. If you feel like random silliness and a good strategy game, then pick this up. It goes for about $10 and totally worth it!

Review product provided by Starlit Citadel and does not affect the outcome of this review.

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