Full coverage on what Blizzard announced for April 1st below.

Diablo 3 Snuggie X-Treme Gamer Blanket

Something that I’m sure some people may actually want (a WoW one would be kinda fun to have), I give you the Diablo 3 Deckard Cain X-Treme Gamer Blanket. Said to give you an edge against those who are unable to regulate their temperatures, and featuring patented freedom holes, this should give you an edge while keeping you warm! It comes in Magi Blue or Blunderbore Brown, PLUS if you order two, you can receive a Diablo 3 body pillow. There’s also this great disclaimer at the bottom:

*One Diablo III body pillow per order of two Diablo III Deckard Cain X-Treme Gamer Blankets. Choice of pillow is made at time of ordering. Pillows may be cursed. Do not transmute with Wirt’s Leg and Tome of Town Portal. Blizzard Entertainment shall not be held responsible for possession or loss of soul as a result of contact with any known or unknown demonic caste.

Battle.net Neural Interface

This gaming peripheral for WoW players really could make the world of Azeroth come alive! It will harness the power of your brain and map it to your character so that you will be sure to experience Azeroth as you want to. Blizzard does advise to not remove the neural interface as it may cause some damage or permanent loss of function. The interface will sell from the Blizzard store for $14,999, but is sadly sold out at the moment. List of features are below:

• Play your World of Warcraft avatar with complete sensory input. Experience the sights, smells, and tastes of Azeroth as never before!
• Simple and easy to use – Press one button on the side of the Battle.net Neural Interface to generate permanent mental imprint. Setup of the Battle.net Neural Interface is simple and takes only a few hours.
• Mostly Unobstrusive – Take your Battle.net Neural Interface wherever you play World of Warcraft and have the satisfaction of knowing that you will only receive a few questioning glances.
• Tough and durable – Lasts for months, and replacement is theoretically possible.

Two new mobile games!

Have you been wanting to play Blizzard games on your mobile device? Well the wait is over as today they announced Blackthorne 2: Thorne Harder and Queen’s Quest for your phone! Blackthorne 2 will continue the tale of Kyle Blackthorne as he travels to Earth to save them from the orc blight. Queens Quest will follow the story of the Queen of Blades as she works to save the brood from utter destruction. Even better it has leet 8bit graphics and is text based! There is some tricky DRM which will require a second unit for iPhone users. The official site has all of the details for the games.

Equipment Equivalence Number

WoW players: are you sick of gear score or trying to find the best way to calculate it? Well Blizz has heard your cries and has decided to work on a new way for people to measure your ePeen. The Equipment Equivalence Number will be a new addition to the interface that will also help to tailor your gaming in WoW to avoid those who are not as… potent as you.

Here’s how it will work: With every new piece of gear you obtain, your number will grow; if you attain a high enough number, you’ll graduate to the next tier (more on that below) and gain access to exclusive rewards. If you’re looking to boost your number even more, activities such as earning raid and Arena achievements or realm-first titles will help you get it up, and you’ll also begin receiving in-game mail with exciting offers for additional ways to enhance it.

Great huh? That way for those of us who get bored with the constant harping on gear score we can stay at our own level and ignore them! Plus then they can be grouped with their own kind and have their own battles to gain a higher number and higher level. Granted some of the bonuses as a higher ignore list, the new non-combat pet Binky the Mechano-Rooster and being able to cut to the front of the queue in the dungon finder are pretty awesome and tempting. It may just bring out the inner gear score addict in you!

MatchMaking dating service

Tired of not being able to play with anyone reliable? Need to pwn some noobs? Then the BattleNet MatchMaking service has come out just in time for you! Whether you’re a mmmrrrrgglllll looking for a wrranngrrllwll or a triune cultist looking for a hot date, MatchMaking can help you find the one. Not sure if this is the right service for you? Make sure to check out the video and testimonials and begin your search!

Disclaimer: These are april fools jokes. Do not take them or my news post as fact