Boy, did that comment plant itself in my brain.

The general, female audience seems to have an issue with Bayonetta. Maybe her breasts just aren’t large enough? Nah. Maybe, to quote an “import-ante” person in the realm of gaming journalism, “have never had sex before?” Maybe, female gamers and their supposed deprivation of fluid exchange has somehow caused them raging insecurity? Nah. I mean, I highly doubt it. Well, the one, definite issue I do carry with Bayonetta is that it was not marketed as a “quality” game. Seeing as how a great deal of women probably do not share my love of Bayonetta, let us speak of your dislike for Bayonetta.

So, why am I so against this facetious represention of a great game? A game of it’s stature just, well, deserves better. I, as a consumer, deserve better. Bayonetta didn’t look worth it. My first impression of Bayonetta was “PASS!” I mean, numerous times when I had walked into Blockbuster looking for a game to rent, I look back now and I’m like, “Wow, this was pretty easy to skip over.” I couldn’t take the box seriously. It made SEGA look like one of those desperate, kiosk people in the center of the mall. I even questioned if some of these “reputable” game sites had lost their mind. Nines and tens—seriously? Thats what forced me to play it, though. I can’t lie.

Truthfully, I held off playing Bayonetta because I had read so much criticism within the female gaming community. I thought, Oh, God. I just want to play a genuinely solid game. I figured however, that if Bayonetta provided enough ammunition for like, every single journalist known to man to create extensive essays about “sexuality” and bicker about “female empowerment,” then it automatically assumed the role of being “exploitative” by default. If there are people, females particularly, prioritizing criticism on this game then, unquestionably, there lies something worth ardently defending. Think about it. Something is there. That’s why it’s being analyzed. Yeah. I didn’t understand the arguments arising in the blogosphere. Its obviously hyper-sexualized heroine was somehow the “elephant in the room” or something. Like, Of course the shape of her butt wasn’t a priority, Dude; Kamiya obviously lost sleep at night thinking “Oh my God, how will I empower her as a female?” What? Come on, man.

So, I sat back to oversee some people and again, mostly females, criticize a reputable journalist. She assured us that female heroines do not have to be devoid of massive breasts to assume a respectable and/or “empowering” status in video-games. I agreed with her completely and I realized I’ve had this point-of-view before I knew what “gaming journalism” was. What I didn’t agree with was her brash defense-mechanism aimed toward her Twitter critics in a cleverly controversial manner:

“anyone who’s offended by Bayonetta has never had sex before,” she tweets. Thank you, Advocate of The Vag-Team.

I’ll admit, I didn’t know how on earth to respond to that one. While I hold the utmost respect for her as an established game journalist, I felt this comment to be, uh, irrational to say the least.

Admittedly, the only thing I find repulsive and/or offensive about Bayonetta is that it superficially cheats consumers, especially the female market, out of an amazing video-game. The worst part? SEGA seems to do so intentionally, especially capitalizing on the grubby promotional work. Is it because some female gamers have “never had sex before?” Or is it because it looks like it has nothing to offer the gigantic, female gamer market? It just doesn’t scream “Play me! I’m one of the greatest, pure-action games on the planet!” It is. It really, just…is.

When I finally gave-in and took it for a spin, I was even more disturbed by the sensory overload of jiggling body parts and sleazy dialogue. I thought, how… can I… take this game seriously? You can’t. As soon as you don’t, you’ll start to realize what a superbly made game this is. Still, it’s not right to shun a good portion of your female audience because you’re not easily offended. I mean, is it? I didn’t psychoanalyze what the developers at Platinum Games were trying to tell me about Bayonetta. SEGA simply needed a good deal. They pounced on something outrageously provocative and ran with it because they needed it. Their track record needed it.

It isn’t about Bayonetta’s character being “exploitative” or “empowered,” it’s about intention. It’s about appeal. All inclusive. So, why do some women idolize the chesty Lara Croft, yet some of the same women feel slightly uncomfortable about the idea of Bayonetta–all tramping around in a cheerleader costume with a special move entitled “Climax?” It’s the presentation.

I wasn’t offended by the “sex” or the “sexiness” or even her breasts and it certainly wasn’t pertaining to abstinence. Good lord. Sega just lacked a compelling market outside of just making it look “sexy.” This, and this alone, is offensive as a female and more importantly, as a gamer.

But, let me tell you something. Bayonetta is, well, ferocious.  I could very well end my review here and plead everyone to silence hearsay and controversy and just play this damn game because if you’re a legitimate gamer, you’ll immediately attest to it’s fantastic polish.Yeah, it’s been done before, but what’s been done before certainly fails to supersede Bayonetta. This game is the perfect concoction; it distills the bad flavor of uninspiring sister-titles and it doesn’t snub the most potent ingredient—gameplay. Its an action title and God knows how many brothers and sisters it has to complete against. I can assure you, though–It’s the “Marcia! Marcia! Marcia!” of the Brady Bunch.

Bayonetta is at the forefront of her genre. It proved my judgement wrong and that’s why I love it. All I’m asking is that next time, Dear Devs, just fricking give me an inkling as to why I should play your game. Give me verifiable data. Take me beyond your Playboy model search. Don’t forget that I, as a female, buy your games. Boobs or not, I don’t want to skip a fantastic game. It’s that simple.

The point is, this is what good games force you to do. It’s what they’re supposed to do. Thats how you define a good game. Where is it written that a good game has to be concerned with your feelings? It’s not. Only we care. So if a game can somehow make me “un-care,” then its good game. A good game is concerned with being a good game. Thats what Bayonetta is. As much as I’m for the “respectful” portrayer of females, I’m still a gamer and, instinctively, judgement comes accordingly.