Firstly, either Paramount or Israeli director, Oren Peli, probably had a stroke of humorous genius when they decided to use the actor and actresses’ real name as indicated on IMDB and this small tidbit is probably what inspired a good amount of confusion and an even better money-maker. The film revolves around the trials and tribulations of Micah and Katie and their attempt to put an end to unwanted spiritual disturbances that occur only during sleepytime. The film is similar to Blair Witch in that it’s filmed in “first-person” and feels very personal. The POV of the audience is essentially the camera Micah enrages the demonic presence with. We’re lead to believe the camera is on at all times, with nighttime obviously being our cue to cover our eyes and scream.

Predictably, it hit theatres everywhere and I decided to take a chance. I was immediately drawn to this film because I’m a bit hemophobic and half brain-dead with a huge thanks to films like Friday The 13^th. I was pleasantly surprised.“Awesome, I won’t be able to sleep tonight” is what I whispered somberly to myself after stepping out of a viewing of mockumentary, Paranormal Activity. For me, not being able to sleep isn’t necessarily a bad thing, only an accomplished desire to once again feel the burden of being inconsolable and OMGOMGOMFG, I can’t remember the last time a “fright” movie gifted me the pleasure of insomnia. A good horror movie shall shatter my cognitive ability; in the very least, a decent horror movie should and shall, dull my commonsensical reasoning. It should force me pee in my pants, RIGHT THERE, rather than foreshadow a toilet or shrub in my immediate future. Anyway, I’m clearly a bizarre American girl and like many of my variety, I crave this rationale—I want to sleep with one, or both eyes open. I want my mind to fight my body. I must feel pathetic against the nether-realm or whatever lies yonder or, honestly, it just isn’t worth my time.

On the other hand, the groan of grumpy movie-goers behind me echoed the sounds of disappointment, feeling that they’d been gimped with a better commercial than an actual movie. Most of them complained at the lack of visual scares or the inability to believe that a human being could really be as senseless and arrogant as Micah. “Hey Ghost! I’m going to kill you!” Now, the second argument I can understand but I’ve always believed that the lack of visually freighting elements in a film is a good thing and is what mainly drives true, horror buffs to rejoice in weekend theatre lines. Paranormal Activity is all about a build-up of intense uncertainty and I found this to be quite uncomfortable. I’m the kind-of girl who finds loud footsteps at the foot of her door far more scary than a man with sporting a hockey masks who kills teenage virgins on his free-time. It’s all about being psychologically intimidated and this would probably explain why I’d play Silent Hill 2 over all the other titles even if it had the tendency to be excruciatingly slow and a tad boring. I mean, geez, I just wanted them to rid the house of the thing and be happy. The coolest part? That didn’t happen.

I think my problem is this: every, single horror movie I’ve encountered in the last decade has been a dry re-make or rather, just really, really awful with the exception of “Drag Me To Hell,” but even then, I’m beginning to grow weary of the humorous Raimi and his obvious vomit fetish. I don’t know what it is about blood or gore that remains awe-inspiring or genuinely scary to the masses, but my mind will never, ever attribute fear to flying bodyparts or spilled innards. For me, hyper-ventilating from being terrified out of my panties versus being utterly disgusted are two, totally different emotions that should be clearly distinguished from one another. It’s probably why I’ve always felt “Fear Factor” should just be called “Are you really going to eat donkey penis?” I mean, sure, they can be effectively combined to form something beautiful like I’ve witnessed via “Dawn Of The Dead,” but there exists hardly any grandeur let alone acceptable example worth commenting on in the mainstream—that I can recall, anyway. Maybe I’m just overly thrilled to see something far from conventional.

Yes, Paranormal Activity caused me to lose one or two nights of healthy sleep, but I didn’t find it to be overwhelming. Whether it’s one of “the scariest films of all time” is definitely up to your taste in the macabre, your tolerance level, and whether or not you’ve encountered something unexplainably horrifying.